by Linda E. Savage, Ph.D.
Are you as sensual as you want to be? No matter how busy you are, devoting 10 minutes to your inner sex goddess will definitely be time well spent.
1. Imagine Your Secret Garden: Close your eyes, take a deep breath and develop a fantasy garden that is yours alone. Fill it with beautiful herbs, flowers, paths, sitting places, fountains and pools. Then imagine that there is a fence around your garden so that you can invite others in or have your space all to yourself. This imagery allows you to honor personal boundaries and create healthy relationships.
2. Say Affirmations: Every day, look into a mirror, and gaze right into your eyes (without any inner narrative about the way you look). Say, "I am a sensuous, gloriously sexy woman." If this one doesn't work for you, create your own mantra (starting with "I am") or try one of over 100 quotes and mantras in the Goddess Library.
3. Stop Negative Thoughts: Whenever you find yourself being critical of your looks, intelligence and abilities, use a destructive image such as lightning or an explosion to obliterate the negative thoughts. Then replace these thoughts by concentrating on your affirmation for one minute. This technique prevents the thoughts from returning for a while. If you do it every time you catch yourself being self-critical, you'll eventually feel more confident all the time.
4. Call in the Goddess: Sit quietly and imagine you are filled with the loving feminine energy of the ancient goddesses. Breathe deeply and feel the warmth coming from your heart. Ask for wisdom and direct a visual image from your heart towards all you desire.
5. Surrender to Pleasure: Get in touch with your everyday pleasures by tuning in to all positive sensations in your body. Taste sweet foods, smell flowers, touch your own skin, listen to sensual sounds, and visualize beautiful scenery to develop your personal sense of pleasure -- and make it stronger!
6. Create the Sacred Space: Your bedroom should be a work of art, not a cluttered storage space or busy office. The most important objects to remove are "single-girl goods" such as displayed pictures of you alone. Also, stop saving any reminders of past relationships. Instead, fill the space around your bed with pinks and reds, the colors of love. Learn more feng shui techniques to turn your bedroom into a love nest.
7. Dance with Your Partner: If your partner or a date says "I can't dance," just put on sexy music, and encourage him to make his moves, any moves, in your living room. Move sensuously against his body. Tell him it's just vertical lovemaking.. Keep your torsos in contact, fronts or backs, and don't move into specific sexual touching for a while. It will drive you both wild.
8. Caress: Have your partner lie with his head on your lap. Gently explore his face with massage and touch. Don't forget to run your fingers through his hair. After you've finished, he'll be more than ready to do the same for you.
9. Massage: Take turns with your partner exploring each other's bodies, and think about how you can nurture each other with touch. Don't rush to intercourse, and you'll find new and wonderful ways to be sensual. You can also find specific instructions for erotic massage in many books, including mine, Reclaiming Goddess Sexuality.
10. Yoni Caress: Genital pleasuring, done well, is the most erotic way to feed sexual desire. Men need instruction from you, because you know what feels best. Talk to your partner about specific techniques that you enjoy. This conversation may take courage, but frank sexual talk will empower you. Remember that every sex goddess has intimate fantasies, and yours deserve to be fulfilled!
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